Saturday, April 30, 2011

Embracing every moment

I’ve been blogging for three years now, and this is my 300th post. When I started this venture I wasn’t sure what it was supposed to be, and am still searching for my voice (as writers like to say). I have my friend Keith to blame for hectoring me into trying. It’s been a process of discovery, which is always a good but unpredictable thing to do. After all, how do I know what I think until I see what I say? Sometimes it’s not until the fingers start to move that the higher functions of my brain fire up. Writing should always be about exploring who we are, turning over rocks and shining light into dark corners. I intend to continue to do just that.

For those keeping score, I’m again into a time of respite from my melanoma. The one incision from my recent surgery that became infected has healed nicely so I’m bandage-free again. I’m not presently aware of any new metastases. My default emotional setting is one of optimism—optimistic realism, if you press me on it. Ellen would instead say I’m a defensive pessimist: someone who expends mental energy preparing for negative outcomes. There’s truth to that too, I suppose. No matter the label, I’ve been granted a luxury of time in which to breathe deeply the scent of spring and to feel the rain against my face. I possess a resiliency of the spirit that has been tested but hasn’t yet failed. I have life for a purpose and I continue to love and embrace its every moment.

2 comments:

Steve said...

Peter,
Every journalist is a defensive pessimist--sounds like you're normal like the rest of us. Thanks for keeping us posted these past three years--it's been a blessing to explore and at least spiritually battle melanoma along with you, and at the least your blog has served as a road map for how we should be praying for you. Here's to the next 300 posts, and then 300 after that!
Wags

Anonymous said...

Peter, it's good to hear that a brother in cancer has found a way to cope. I hope for the same some day. Onward.

Eri